What if Stuart wins The Apprentice?

What if Stuart wins The Apprentice?: "

Everything he touches turns to sold – and Lord Sugar might just buy in to Baggs the brand in the boardroom

With his now notorious boast of being 'Stuart Baggs – the brand', it quickly became clear that this year's Apprentice star was going to be a certain telecoms mogul from the Isle of Man. A shower-chewing, champagne-eschewing, David Brent-alike who has followed in the cloven-hoofed footsteps of Katie Hopkins as the hopeful we love to hate.

Baggs began in a blaze of blowhard glory, abusing passers-by during the sausage task, before lying low for a few weeks. Now he's swaggered back to the fore with two successive task wins and a new nickname, 'Herr Baggs' – which sounds like the sort of growth that old people get surgically removed. With the field narrowed down to seven, at least two of whom (cocky Jamie Lester, whinging Laura Moore) Lord Sugar clearly hates, it suddenly makes you wonder: Baggs couldn't win this thing, could he?

Possibly, yes. Because despite his bonkers proclamations – 'Everything I touch turns to sold', 'I have to rein in my extreme masculinity' – Baggs does have some points in his favour. At only 21 (going on 50), he is the youngest ever contestant; Sugar might regard him as malleable raw talent, ready to have his rough edges knocked off and egotistic puppyfat trimmed. Baggs is also one applicant who might stay in the job awhile, unlikely to get his head turned by semi-celebrity and the bright lights of London because – let's be frank – Brentwood will look like Manhattan compared to the Isle Of Man. And then there's his offer to pay back his salary if Lord Sugar's not satisfied, which could appeal to the wily old walnut.

And if Baggs was the chosen one, would it really be so bad? Having started out punting yo-yos in the playground, he's a grafter, grifter and salesman. There's not a hint of 'Steady Eddie or Cautious Carol' about him. (The latter's not a phrase anyway is it, Lord Sugar?). He's even got a decent sense of humour when he drops the bravado – admit it, 'Hasta la vista, gravy' was almost amusing. Biting his tongue while stuck on a sub-team last week with 'Bride Of Chucky' Laura made Baggs look almost saintly, even if he did tuck his jumper into his jeans on their designer shopping spree. 'Got to make an effort, haven't you?' reasoned a man dressed by his mum.

So will Baggs actually win? All series, the women have looked stronger than the men; it's likely the winner will come from the formidable Reiss-clad axis of icy Stella, terrifyingly tenacious Joanna and Bambi/Ally McBeal hybrid Liz. But Baggs the brand is now a potential finalist and once you've got that far, Sugar's furry finger can point anywhere. Look at past finals. Ruth 'the' Badger was robbed by Michelle Dewberry. Simon Ambrose was a nice-but-dim Sloane who thought he could breakdance and rap. Lee McQueen, with his geezerish demeanour and dinosaur impressions, was merely a better-looking Baggs. It's a lottery in that last boardroom.

And if Baggs was hired, would it be fair enough, flat-out funny or further evidence that we're going to hell in an Amstrad-made handcart? Let us know below. And don't forget to check back tonight at 9pm for Heidi Stephens's Apprentice liveblog."