1:30 AM
You know who cannot act: Jerry Seinfeld.
He never could, but he built a prosperous professional career as a funny man turned sit-com star in Seinfeld for a good nine seasons.
Setting aside the fact that he, alongside Larry David, was the creative genius behind the lengthy television show, he was never an actor. A voice-over actor, maybe. But never a heavy, legit stage or screen presence.
But he did make it on the television screen. And make it good. Seinfeld still stands as one of the funniest television programs to ever come out of Hollywood.
Try to envisage if he could act. Try and imagine he was as perfect as his cockamamie wacky neighbor Kramer (Michael Richards), his inconsiderate ex-girlfriend Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), or his neurotic and gutless school friend George Costanza (Jason Alexander).
Or his rotund postman arch-enemy, Newman (Wayne Knight).
In actual fact come to think about it, it's possibly better that he never went to acting school since the success of the show ultimately hinged on Jerry Seinfeld the comic writing the jokes and his friends and foes bringing them to life around him.
So I think therein lies some method to the acting insanity.
But unlike Shakespeare's Hamlet, Seinfeld didn't actually meet a sorry end.
Regardless of falling one year shy of ten years on American and global TV screens, Jerry Seinfeld's career and success only gained impetus after the show that bore his name stopped with the four selfish New Yorkers standing trial and being afterwards found guilty as innocent bystanders.
And ending up in the slammer.
Ironically, from there, the careers of the already mentioned real actors never really took off after the series box sets hit the retail shelves in time for Xmas and Chanukah.
The New Adventures of Old Christine never truly hit the comedic mark.
And that racial outburst in an L.A. comedy club wasn't exactly the type of punch line we needed to remember the lovable Kramer by.
Perhaps the only saving grace was Wayne Knight's role in Basic Instinct's infamous interrogation scene - although you almost certainly did not even realise he was there.
But then there was Jerry. He caused some buzz with Bee Movie, produced a reality Tv show based on marriage and relationship guidance, and at last returned to the stand up comedy stage to great acclaim - and with new material!
I think the hidden secret to his success is a thespian methodology known as Method Acting, in which the actor essentially never beaks character. Which was easy for Seinfeld, because he always was playing himself - a comic, forever at the mercy of his audience and with an enduring Get Out Of Fail Card - and never a real actor playing a 'role'.
So all he really had to do was arrive for makeup, tell some gags and be himself for 22 minutes an episode and before he knew it, he had worldwide celebrity, numerous industry awards and residual payments that the Queen of England would be envious of.
And all this because he could not even act.
He never could, but he built a prosperous professional career as a funny man turned sit-com star in Seinfeld for a good nine seasons.
Setting aside the fact that he, alongside Larry David, was the creative genius behind the lengthy television show, he was never an actor. A voice-over actor, maybe. But never a heavy, legit stage or screen presence.
But he did make it on the television screen. And make it good. Seinfeld still stands as one of the funniest television programs to ever come out of Hollywood.
Try to envisage if he could act. Try and imagine he was as perfect as his cockamamie wacky neighbor Kramer (Michael Richards), his inconsiderate ex-girlfriend Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), or his neurotic and gutless school friend George Costanza (Jason Alexander).
Or his rotund postman arch-enemy, Newman (Wayne Knight).
In actual fact come to think about it, it's possibly better that he never went to acting school since the success of the show ultimately hinged on Jerry Seinfeld the comic writing the jokes and his friends and foes bringing them to life around him.
So I think therein lies some method to the acting insanity.
But unlike Shakespeare's Hamlet, Seinfeld didn't actually meet a sorry end.
Regardless of falling one year shy of ten years on American and global TV screens, Jerry Seinfeld's career and success only gained impetus after the show that bore his name stopped with the four selfish New Yorkers standing trial and being afterwards found guilty as innocent bystanders.
And ending up in the slammer.
Ironically, from there, the careers of the already mentioned real actors never really took off after the series box sets hit the retail shelves in time for Xmas and Chanukah.
The New Adventures of Old Christine never truly hit the comedic mark.
And that racial outburst in an L.A. comedy club wasn't exactly the type of punch line we needed to remember the lovable Kramer by.
Perhaps the only saving grace was Wayne Knight's role in Basic Instinct's infamous interrogation scene - although you almost certainly did not even realise he was there.
But then there was Jerry. He caused some buzz with Bee Movie, produced a reality Tv show based on marriage and relationship guidance, and at last returned to the stand up comedy stage to great acclaim - and with new material!
I think the hidden secret to his success is a thespian methodology known as Method Acting, in which the actor essentially never beaks character. Which was easy for Seinfeld, because he always was playing himself - a comic, forever at the mercy of his audience and with an enduring Get Out Of Fail Card - and never a real actor playing a 'role'.
So all he really had to do was arrive for makeup, tell some gags and be himself for 22 minutes an episode and before he knew it, he had worldwide celebrity, numerous industry awards and residual payments that the Queen of England would be envious of.
And all this because he could not even act.
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